Finding my happiness


Haleah Ware, Staff Writer

Ever since I was a little girl, I felt pressure to be who everyone wanted me to be. I felt like I had to please everyone else, so I constantly put their wants and needs before my own. No matter how hard I tried, it was like I’d always be a sort of outsider.

I think almost everyone thought I was a bit odd, and because of that, they tended to distance themselves from me. Some of my earliest memories of school revolve around me always sitting by myself away from other kids at school, watching other children have fun. In other words; I had no friends. And although I tried to hide it, it bothered me deeply. I wanted to belong. I wanted to join in; to fit in.

This carried on further through my life. Every school year, my desire to fit in grew more and more. At some point I began to change parts of myself to make friends with the people around me. It worked; people seemed to be a bit more receptive toward me, but I still wasn’t happy. I’d tried so hard to be someone I wasn’t that I was ignoring what made me happy.

When I finally figured out I would never fully be like anyone else, that’s when I was truly happy. The reality of the situation is that no one is completely the same. It took some time, but I became more confident in myself and less worried about everyone’s opinions of me. I may have lost a few friends, but the people who really cared for the real me stuck around. I discovered that being myself was the only thing I could be, and that’s more than good enough.